Don't Mention the Weather

As my bedroom electric fan swings back and forth for its 50th uninterrupted hour or so, I feel moved to comment on that universal subject of casual conversation: The Weather.

It is currently uncomfortably (for a Northern European, even one who grew up in the San Francisco Bay area) warm and humid. Earlier this week we had the fire on in the lounge. These variations are par for the course in this country but are no less irritating for all that. The ideal day for me is a sunny one at 70F with a light and pleasant breeze. A day like this is so rare as to be a candidate for display in the Natural History Museum. Too cold, too warm, too wet - this is the norm.

The problem is that these variations are as nothing compared to most other places in the globe. "What's it like in Baghdad today, Nigel?" "Oh, it's 50C with only 10 minutes of electricity a day to run the fridges." "As we look out on the wasteland that used to be several Bangladesh villages before the torrential floods . . ." "And of course the Sahel desert is expanding by 382 meters a month, leading to famine, disease, social disintegration . . ."


So one feels selfish and Little Englandish to complain about weather in just about the world's most temperate climate in the Southeast of England. I mean, one could live in a land of really awful weather and severe deprivation with a largely uneducated population who have failed to grasp that key talent in the world fast lane, fluency in the English language. But enough about Scotland . . .

Is it my fault that I have the tolerance for changes in temperature and humidity more common to cold-blooded animals? But one inalienable right of the British is to complain about the weather. So I will not be cowed or silenced. How can I elaborate my thoughts properly in the midst of this slight warm spell?!



What do we want?

Temperatures of between about 68F and 72F with a light cooling breeze!

When do we want it?

Quite soon would be very nice. But don't put yourself to too much trouble!!




So the Battlecry goes forth!